Couples Therapy
Couples Therapy in the Los Feliz & Atwater Village areas of Los Angeles
Does this sound like you?
You keep having the same fight over and over again
One of you feels constantly criticized while the other feels completely unheard
You don’t feel emotionally or physically connected anymore
There’s been a breach of trust and you don’t know if the relationship can recover
One partner feels alone carrying the emotional, financial, or parenting load
You try to talk, but it quickly turns into defensiveness, shutdown, fixing, blaming, or distance
You love each other, but something about the relationship no longer feels sustainable
Many couples come to therapy when they’ve reached the end of their rope. After months or years of trying to explain themselves, fix things, hold resentment in, avoid conflict, or keep the peace, it can start to feel like nothing changes no matter how many times you talk about it. Therapy can be a place to finally slow things down and understand what’s keeping the two of you stuck.
What’s going on underneath.
Most couples aren’t really fighting about the dishes.
The argument is often about something deeper. Intimacy. Trust. Parenting values. Communication. Sex. Just to name a few. Underneath all of it often lies more meaningful questions: Do I matter to you? Can I trust you? Are we still connected? Are we going to be okay?
When people feel hurt, unseen, rejected, overwhelmed, or emotionally unsafe, they tend to protect themselves in different ways. Some pursue, criticize, demand, or escalate. Others withdraw, shut down, avoid conflict, or try to “fix” the problem instead of emotionally engaging. Usually both reactions make sense. The problem is that over time they can create disconnection.
Another major reason, couples come to therapy is loss because every long-term relationship involves change. And with change comes loss. Loss of certainty. Loss of old roles and identities. Loss of the fantasy that our partner will always see the world the way we do.
These losses are a normal part of building a life together, but they can be difficult to navigate. Couples therapy can help partners acknowledge these changes, understand one another more deeply, and create new ways of connecting as their relationship evolves.
How we work with it.
My approach is grounded in attachment theory, psychodynamic work, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In our work together, we slow things down and begin looking at the pattern the two of you are caught in together rather than focusing only on who is right or wrong.
As we better understand what’s happening underneath the conflict, couples are often able to recognize each other less as “the problem” and more as two people reacting to fear, disconnection, unmet needs, or old relational wounds in real time.
Over time, something important starts to shift. Instead of reacting automatically, there begins to be a little more space. Space to pause. Space to communicate more honestly. Space to stay emotionally present instead of shutting down or escalating. Those moments may seem small, but they’re often where connection and trust begin to rebuild.
Where we begin.
If your relationship feels caught in the same painful cycle, that’s worth paying attention to. Couples therapy can help create a space where both people feel more understood while working toward greater clarity, connection, and emotional safety together.
I work with couples in the Los Feliz and Atwater Village areas of Los Angeles, and also offer online therapy for clients anywhere in California. Sessions are typically 50 minutes, and I offer both ongoing weekly work and shorter-term support around specific issues or transitions.
If you’re unsure whether couples therapy is the right next step, that’s completely okay — that’s often part of what we sort out together.
“Neil’s humor, listening skills, creativity, and overall attunement make him a truly wonderful therapist. His grounded, relational presence helps people feel at ease and understood, even when the work gets challenging. 10/10 recommend!”
“Neil is the kind of clinician whose very presence is supportive and healing. His skill helps one get to the heart of the matter expeditiously and compassionately.”
